Don Sparrow: The Movie

F.A.Q.

(Frequently Asked Questions)

Q: Say, Don, I'm a Family/Friend/Girl, so how come I'm not in the movie of your life?

A: Well, there's a few possible reasons. The most likely reason is that I don't have a photo of you. In this case, you should e-mail me a photo of yourself you're happy with, so I can add you to the cast, post-haste. The other possibility is that I haven't thought of anyone who can play you yet. In this case, suggest someone you think/have been told looks like you or acts like you. I'd be more than happy to put you on the page.

Q: Don, I'm a fourteen year old girl. Why am I being played by Sean Connery? In other words, how come the actor playing me is so much older than me?

A: Well, a lot of the actors playing my friends and family are a lot older than the people they're playing, largely because there's just not as many young actors as there are middle aged ones. Just use your imagination, it'll all be OK.

Q: Don, you diseased maniac, I hate the actor who is portraying me! What can I do about this?

A: Well, as I see it, you have two options if you are unsatisfied with who I have playing you. The first is to go out and make your own darned website, with everything as you like it. Seeing as how that is difficult, I'll give you another option: suggest an alternate casting for your part. If it is indeed better than the person I chose, then I'll definitely switch it. Many of the people on this casting page were not my first choices, but suggestions from other people that fit a lot better.

Q: Don, how come so many names are misspelled? Are you some kind of retard?

A: If I had a dime for every time someone asked me whether I was retarded, I'd be a rich man. No, I'm not retarded, just lazy. Many of the errors are typing errors, others I just remembered the names incorrectly. I'll try to get around to fixing some of them as soon as I can. Thanks for pointing them out.

Q: Don, why go to all this bother? Don't you have anything better to do with your time?

A: No. No, I don't. I went to all this "bother" because I wanted to do something nice, and maybe cool for the people I care about. I hope you like it.

Q: Don, didn't there used to be, like, another hidden page, like, with pictures from your time at Sheridan College and stuff? Like, what happened to that page, man? Are you trying to mess with our heads, or what?

A: Yup, there is a page like that. And here's the link: http://www.donsparrow.com/html/blah.html. I, like, hope you, like, enjoy it. Man.

Q: Don, why is there so much scrolling? I hate scrolling.

A: Sorry about all the scrolling. Yes, it's a big page, and yes it takes a long time to load, but if that's the worst thing you have to deal with today then count yourself lucky. Me, I got stabbed.

Q: Don, how can I learn more about the people on your casting page? Probably some of them have their OWN websites. How about giving us a way to view these websites, Einstein?

A: Oh, wow.

Due to popular demand, many of the faces of my friends and family are now clickable. So if the cursor turns into a small hand icon when you roll over the faces of these fine folks, you can click on the image! From there you will be taken immediately to their websites. Some of them are amazing, so check 'em out!

Q: Don, don't you think it's a little self-obsessive to have a page devoted to a movie about your life? Who do you think you are exactly?

A; I put this page up because I thought it would be cool to show the people I love who they might be played by in a movie. I'm only one character in the movie, the rest of the characters are people I care about. And, I think that if I were truly a diseased, self-obsessed maniac, I would probably play myself, and not allow an actor to do it. Sorry if this site bothers you, but it's just supposed to be fun and silly. I do hope you like it.

Q: Don, do you like receiving e-mails from people who saw the Don Sparrow: The Movie page, and would like to comment on it? Or do you hate it? Which one is it Don, do you like people to e-mail you or do you hate it? Which one is who?

A: A good question, and well-phrased. Yes, I love receving e-mail from the people I care about. If you have any questions or comments (that haven't already been answered on this FAQ page) then by all means send them along to supersparrow@donsparrow.com.

To return to the casting page, please click HERE, using your mouse and forefinger.